Monday, April 19, 2004
the last bus.
The last bus served no one except the couple cuddled together, arm in arm, in the last seat. Girl leaned against his shoulders and looked at him lovingly, almost in a daze, with her doe-like eyes. The speed of the old Mercedes-Benz brought in varying draughts of air. It played with their hair, throwing them into disarray, an effect she found Boy to be fiendishly sexy in. Her left hand reached for his right and she held him tightly.
Boy stared ahead, taking in calculated breaths, one among many other fruitless attempts to calm his nerves and ease his guilt. Slowly, his other hand sandwiched her's and gently nudged it away. Girl was confounded. Though rejection came into her mind, she brushed it off, feeling guilty for that. "Perhaps he was about to retrieve his wallet," she contemplated.
He turned to face her and finally looked at her with his dark-brown eyes. The continuous blasts of air hit her and she began to feel the chill. She was anticipating a deep hug, to share their warmth, but was met with emptiness.
"Girl, I..."
"...love you?" she thought on reflex. It had been long since he last affirmed his love.
"Err..." Boy hesitated as he considered the many synonyms and alternative phrases. "Let's..."
She recalled their first kiss. She thought of the possible continuations and felt her freezing cheeks thaw - she blushed.
"Break up," Boy mouthed, almost inaudible. A tsunami of relief swept him away and apparently distanced from Girl in the comfort of his other love.
If Boy had bothered to watch, he would have seen, slowly, the corners of her beautiful smile dip, her light eyebrows sag, her eyes motionless in disbelief and her rosy face blanch. The pain that registered later triggered the sudden contraction of facial muscles and crumpled her face into numerous folds and furrows. She struggled to look for one last doubt in his face but found indifferent will. Her heart beat with pain and fear but she held on, stood and walked away. Her tears glints on the galvanised steel platform, marking her path.
The din by the grinding of gears from the engines bit into her heart distracted her introspection and brewed the cauldron of sadness, despair and the newly-found hatred that spurred uncontrollable sobbing, wetting the red-velvet seat. The bleak, stony wind seemed to be mocking her for her naivety. The fluorescent lamps stole all hiding places. The clean, crisp air woke her into consciousness and disallowed any attempt to numb herself. It was as though everything encompassing her had gathered in collaboration with Boy and stripped her of dignity, belief in love, pride, sanity and infused her with the tortures of betrayal.
Boy started for the exit as the next stop neared. He walked without remorse, as though nothing could perturb him. Her eyes followed him, seeking solace, as he walked down the stairs. The bus sped away and he could not be seen.
"Happy Birthday Girl!" Girl's parents greeted as she ascended the door steps. "What did Boy give you as your present?"
The appalling truth.
hey pple.. wrote this in the spur of the moment... kinda like yin yue ri ji on the radio... hope u pple like it.. hehe...
posted by the protagonist . @ 12:18 AM
Saturday, April 17, 2004
hey.. its me again.. been on an emotional rollercoaster this whole week... but details too deep to reveal lah... jus wanna say i had some extremely high points and some extremely low points... dunno wat to say... dunno wat to reveal... so jus started a diary loh so i can write everything and anything... sorry lah peeps, but some things really cannot say out loud
now seriously considering finding another job for these reasons:
1. pay is ok... but the no of days working and the hours per day are horrible
2. some pple (no names mentioned) are just down right disgusting
3. i dun like the idea of being paid to do nothing loh
4. my brain gets stale sometimes. k a lot of times.
so any lobangs? but truth be told, also quite hard lah to find a job now... time so short.. by the way, gonna go for orientation camp on 7-9 June and orientation starts on the 14 June while school starts on the 21st!! can't wait.
something happened the past few days that really made me rethink wat frenship really means to me and wat kind of a fren i have been to pple... the happenings that day really was like the most miserable i ever had to go thru... never had i been so down in the pits before... never did i have so many highs that came tumbling down so fast.. never had i shed tears for someone... for something that might seem so insignificant to other... never had i felt this wat before... and never will again...
posted by the protagonist . @ 11:18 PM
Sunday, April 11, 2004
been having fun these few days... hehe... lets see, sat went for prick's gig with bren, quite fun loh cuz had the chance to talk to him a lot more. and hence got to understand him more also... you rock man bren.. BIG TIME!!
also went for mel's baptism, very interesting loh... but one thing turned me off... sorry but i'll be direct... i dun like the way faith is professed in the church, cuz they are like exclaiming "praise the lord" or something very extreme... dunno lah, but its a bit much for me lah... like the catholic ones better cuz they are much more solemn and kinda my style... but was really happy for mel loh, cuz she waited so long for this day to arrive.. but i felt that the priest was like drowning her and everyone else loh... couldn't he give them sometime to breathe? but i felt like v extra loh... was like doing manual labour for the church cuz was helping them hold door and keep chairs and stuff... haiz...
today was darn fun also loh... cuz met up with jo and ber and bert.. long time never see the former two... but its quite stupid loh cuz i never knew how one could spend like 6+ hours in sembawang shopping centre loh... first it was sakae.. den stoned around in GIANT... den met ber and it was kfc... den satay club... dunno how one can eat so much loh... like shi zi lu kou like that... hehe... i reckon that satay club looks like malaysia loh... so malay.. den sights, sounds, pple.. jo was commenting on that also... den we talked crap lah.. and made agreement to go holidaying in somewhere overseas after their a's... hong kong? thailand? scantinavia?? hehe...
haiz.. tmr not working again... sad... ^^''' wanna talk to pple!!!
posted by the protagonist . @ 11:11 PM
Monday, April 05, 2004
haiz... there's only one word to describe the past few days loh... SIAN!!! went back to work on sun... found out that they installed new xbox that can play games one... hehe, so happy, another mean to spend those long long nights that end at 9... honestly, i think that the exhibition's making a loss loh, NO ONE AT ALL durign the weekdays!!! today only sold like S$2000+ worth of tickets, which seriously, isn't a lot.. plus point is that i get a lotta time to do my stuff lah, like read. and boy do i read. finish one book per day loh... though sitting and being paid to do practically nothing is darn good, but i am bored. seriously bored. haiz, pple!! come and visit me leh!!!
only things worth looking forward to are prick's gig on sat and mel's baptism on sun and the mudpies bbq on the same day and catching sat night fever with kor like dunno when.. pple, pls pls pls reply to my mail if you are reading this can?
haiz, dunno how i'll survive life like this till june... maybe i'll quit and find another job loh... hehe.. by the way cami, ur rendition of come to my window rocks big time!! even if u can't hold the whole 10 sec.. hehe. rock on pple!!!
posted by the protagonist . @ 8:34 PM
Thursday, April 01, 2004
jus realised i haven't blogged in a long time... hehe... darn pissed off by work cuz the new roster sucked... 6 off days in 2 week?? that is like freaking stupid considering the fact that i get paid hourly... haiz... ought to start looking for another job... haiz...
went back to cat high for the council investiture on wed.. quite fun lah... it wasn't as bad as i expected.. hehe sorri cammi!! caught up with quite a few juniors like mou, chew, nam, and the rest... seriously saying, the whole student leader concept sucks.. i mean, wat's the point of having councillors AND prefects? plain stupid loh. at least sn's was like prefect and monitors, so its more clear cut in a way... and truth be told, i seriously hate the prefects. period. nuff said. but i had a great time though, pigged out with bran and mel at sakae, must have ate like 50+ plates and stuff? (not THAT much, but close)
life's quite alright with me now, jus waiting for the results of my medical examination so that i can get on with the poly application... meanwhile, still on the lookout for new jobs... (i'm not that hard-up, but jus can't sit still, and sometimes, the exhibition is jus so empty it seems haunted... seriously.)
can't say enuff... miss the mudpies, esp jo ber and kelv, haven't seen u pple for like the longest time loh... 20 days to be exact... as for the rest.. have fun lah, will keep in constant contact one.. nad and bert no prob lah, YISHUN area one.. hehe ^_^ pricks, will always be with me spiritually.. hehe... jiemei!! to the apple and chicken pies cheryl and jason, SENGKANG rocks big time...and u pple rock too!! hehe (this goes out to jo too) and vanessa and yuannie, i can't say eunff bout my "best" frens!! hope u guys are having fun!!
lastly, to dar dar... brendan.. hehe, so how's china... skipped drama hor, twice somemore... wanna die ah... haiz, life without you so bored... come back soon!!! but seriously, have fun k and dun miss me too much if u are reading this... buy something for me k, like dunno diamond or something.. haha... you gone already who look after business for you? this-is-u is like monopolising the whole market already loh.. faster come back or ur watson's and ntuc gonna collapse soon ah!! miss ya lots!! also always say my entries too short... this long long one can for u? ^_^
not working tomorrow again, most prob also on sat.. haiz, sian ah.. eh kor, sat night fever still on not next week... u treat?
posted by the protagonist . @ 10:59 PM